Sexual Development Ages 0-3

Emotional Development

Most children aged zero to three will:

• Develop trust for caregivers who fulfill their needs, such as responding when the child is hungry, wet, etc.
• Begin to test independence and explore limits, but still seek closeness to primary caregiver
• Have relationships primarily with family members who are the most important people in the child's life at this time
• Physically demonstrate feelings, such as kissing and hugging to show love and hitting to show anger
• Master the idea of being happy, sad, or angry, but will generally choose to express emotions physically rather than verbally. The "terrible twos" occur when a child is developing a sense of self outside of and distinct from others, and expresses this individuality by saying "no" and by insisting on doing things him/herself

Sexual Development

Most children aged zero to three will:

• Be curious and explore their own body and others' bodies
• Experience an erection or vaginal lubrication
• Touch their genitals for pleasure
• Talk openly about their bodies
• Be able to say and understand, when taught, the appropriate names for body parts (head, nose, stomach, penis, vulva, etc.)

What Families Need to Do to Raise Sexually Healthy Children

To help children ages zero to three to develop a healthy sexuality, families should:

• Help children feel good about their entire body. Caregivers should name all body parts accurately and convey that the body and its functions are natural and healthy.
• Touch and comfort children often to help them understand love and how it can be shared. Meeting children's needs also helps them develop trust.
• Help children begin to understand the difference between public and private behaviors and that certain behaviors, such as picking one's nose or touching one's genitals, are private ones.
• Teach about anatomical differences between males and females while maintaining that boys and girls are equally special.
• Teach children that they can say no to unwanted touch, regardless of who is attempting to touch them, and that they have a right to be respected when they say no.
• Describe bodily processes, such as pregnancy and birth, in very simple terms.
• Avoid shame and guilt about body parts and functions.